The one thing I absolutely, ABSOLUTELY despise about summer is that I have WAY too much time on my hands. Well, not every summer, but definitely this summer. And with tons of time on my hands comes mulling and thinking and brainstorming, and mainly pulling part the storage boxes of my mind and allowing every little nagging thought to come through. That's never a good idea, especially for me.
Mainly, the nagging thing about friends has begun to affect me. I've always been the kind of person to have tons and tons of friends, but one singular best friend. Lately, I haven't really been able to isolate who my best friend is, honestly. I know it will pander out on its own in time, but I've never felt so.........alone. I don't know, maybe I'm just moody.
It also doesn't help that I'm so far away from my new friends. I feel like I made a huge mistake by coming back home for the summer. It's horrible, I know, but I cannot wait to get back to college. I miss hanging out with them, I miss being on my own, and I miss.............me. The "college" me is so much better and freer than the "back-home" me. Don't get me wrong: I missed the heck out of my family and the friends who are back home for the summer. But, I don't know, I enjoy college.
I suppose that a lot of this stems from the fact that tonight is the premiere of the Twilight Saga: Eclipse. While I am no longer a Twi-hard (the whole franchise is completely overrated, though I still like the books), I miss being passionate about stuff like that. I feel like I have gotten too serious too quickly in an effort to prepare myself for the road to and the road of medical school. Not to mention, I usually go to midnight showings with my best friends, but nowadays they are either going with other people or not interested in the least bit.
I think I just need to remember that I am young, and have plenty of time to be serious. That's why I want to be more involved in school this year, in terms of volunteering and organizations like AASU and CSA. I need to remember to have fun, as well. And as for friends, I'm probably overanalyzing things. I tend to do that a LOT.
I'm off to finish Stargate, and then sleep. Teaching Spanish in the morning!
Random Thought of the Day
If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
Personally, I would have never gone into the I.B. program. Four years of frustration and stress could have been easily replaced by AP classes.